Pulseless Pandemic - First Rating is a 5 Star

My second zombie book, Pulseless Pandemic, has its first rating on Barnes & Noble and it's a 5 star. No words, but I'll take it.

Advice to Readers....Don't Ever Rely on the Rating of One Person

My Amazon ratings are based on 1-3 ratings. As an example, my first book, Flatline Virus, suffered from a single early bad rating from someone on Amazon who clearly was expecting the Pulitzer prize-winning author by my name. I also later found he was a regular negative reviewer of many things on Amazon. My book was the last he ever reviewed. Must have killed him.

On the other hand, my book sales at Apple (my largest selling channel) for 'Flatline Virus' are much, much better and based on 29 reviews. 4 starsin fact.  An early bad review hurts. An early good one helps as in my Apple book store experience.  Eventually, it almost works out, but my advice is always to not rely on a single review.

The Scoop About Poop Now Available on Amazon for $0.99 !!!

Book 5 is now available on Amazon and priced at the low price of 99 cents. It took them a matters of only a few hours to review the book. I'm very curious, based on how different this subject matter is from my previous books, how fast the first sale develops.

Scoop About Poop is now published on Amazon...

...and will be available within 12 hours according to them.

Book 5 is Published on Smashwords

Over the next couple days, I hope to have it also available on Amazon. Smashwords, my distributor is now reviewing it for Premium Distribution to Apple, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Diesel and others. This can take a few weeks.

The name of this nonfiction book is 'The Scoop About Poop'. It's 17,800 words long. The book cover image is off to the right on this blog. A brief description is as follows:

The author uses serious facts and a sense of humor to tell the story of poop.  The subject is crude, profane and vulgar. But it's also what all of us do mostly every day. The various chapters include everything you did and didn't want to know about fecal matters, including: the composition of poop; derivation of sh*t words; the history of poop; its uses; coprophagy; why it has various colors; types of stool; diarrhea and constipation; colonoscopy prep; poop as an embarrassment; semantics, idioms and sh*t as an expression; animal feces; the curious; personal hygiene and toilet paper; fake poop; synonyms; statistics and jokes. No photos. Not a medical reference manual. Just a lot to read about your favorite subject.

I have mixed feelings about my new book. Those around me wonder why I wrote a book about poop. "What would your mother think about it?" I was asked. A good question. She might wonder a little about the subject matter, but she always seemed proud of everything I did. I know my father would have enjoyed it.

I will admit. The subject matter is profane, but no matter what we do, poop is here to stay with us as a part of our lives. It's in our language. It's part of our health, personal hygiene and environmental discussions. So, why not write about it?

On the other hand, my other books have required more intellectual effort. Despite the science fiction and zombie topics, I researched the background information thoroughly, delving pretty deeply into viruses, super intelligence, space travel and the moons of Saturn among other topics. The research into poop just didn't reach the same level of intellectual effort, as I'll refer to it.

I guess I chose something that would be entertaining, have some shock value and maybe create more sales. Did I sell myself out for shit? Some might say so. I'd argue no. There is an informational aspect to learning about poop. It is somewhat of a unique subject about which to publish. I'm guessing I haven't seen more (or any?) books about the topic because it's so profane or other authors believe it won't sell. I'm willing to take the chance...with whatever reputation I may have (as an author). If it doesn't sell, it doesn't sell. I took a chance.  

Here are a couple excerpts from the book: 

(describing a type of poop)

The Bowl Vandal - You rush in to the bathroom and just make it to the toilet. What comes out is a wet, gassy, nasty-looking mess of shit shards going in every direction. It leaves the bowl looking like a gang spray-painted it brown with whatever else you ate or drank.

(describing the derivation of the word shit) 

The acronym theory for the derivation of the word S.H.I.T. has been put forth on the internet but it's full of crap.

The theory of the origin of shit was that manure was valuable as early fertilizer, and as such, was shipped all around the world. Of course, it was important to keep the manure dry. If it became wet, it was much heavier, creating navigational issues for the wooden ships. But much more important than that, wet manure produces an inflammable gas, methane to be precise. The gas could generate pockets of highly inflammable, even explosive gas, resulting in a dangerous situation aboard an ocean-going vessel. So, manure was transported with the directions to 'Ship High In Transit' to keep it from getting wet in the interior of the ship, with the acronym SHIT.

Readying Book 5 for Publishing

I've finished the writing...pretty much. I just need to go through the book one more time. I've been working on a book cover and am making good progress on that. Further, I have a title (not to be given here yet). The book length will be a little over 17,000 words. As I indicated, it will be a sort of reference manual for a well-known, but unusual subject for any book.

Flatline Virus - 4 Star Rating in Apple Bookstore

Flatline Virus enjoys a 4 star rating in the Apple bookstore with 19 of the 29 ratings either 1 or 2. The two written reviews are positive. Check it out to the right if you can read it. I had to shrink the image.

I'm getting close to finishing book number 5, a handbook/guide/reference manual of an unusual subject. I don't think there's anything else like it. I'll price it at $2.99 just like my others. It is untitled as of now and I am in the process of editing it for the final or next to final time. So far the word count is just under 17,000 words.

Major Increase in Words Written for Book 5

The word total is up to over 16,000.  

Book #5 is a Reference Manual

At least that's what I'm calling it now. I have 10,000 words thus far. It is the kind of book that invites photography, but when you see the title (working on it), you'll understand why I didn't add any. I'm not about to provide the photos for this manual. Call it a guide. Call it a manual or a reference manual. Or just call it which has a lot of information about something we are all familiar with.  I haven't seen anything similar on the market. Well, that's it for now. Back to work.

I Didn't Think I Wanted to Begin Another Book....

But, I am collecting some information for a sort of 'Reference' book. It's not fiction. It's not related to Zombies. That's about all I'll say now. It's very different from any of the four books I've written. I haven't seen one like this on the market now.

Zombie Rules

Zombies have rules. Or rather, we have rules about zombies. Most of us know the basics, but I'd thought I would recite for you the rules I generally follow in my books with regard to how I think zombies behave.

They behave badly. They bite people. No, that's not what I mean.

Zombies are dead people that become reanimated. In my two zombie books, a virus 'hijacks' a living person's cells, kills the person, and takes over enough of the original body's activities to allow it to kill more living and thereby pass on the pathogen to others. The virus is passed on by biting generally, but the bodily fluids of any infected living person can do the same thing.

Zombies have sensory abilities, e.g. sight, hearing. However, we wonder if they can smell (they surely smell because they are decomposing) although they seem to pick up on any fresh meat smells. They grab and therfore have a sense of touch, yet they feel no pain. It's also likley they cannot taste. If they could, why the heck would they eat what they eat?

They do not tire. They have one goal, that of finding fresh meat and eating it, thereby passing on the virus. Their cognitive powers are very limited, being just sufficient for minimal motor movements like walking, grabbing, biting, looking around. They can't really figure out things, like figuring out how to get into a house. They will push on windows, doors until they open or until there are enough of them to push something open with the force of several of them. Some may use simple tools to smash windows, but such actions are limited to the Zombies who are members of Mensa. They do not tire and are absolutely relentless in seeking out living human meat.

Some have observed that a few seem to have remnants of past living memories, seeming to recognize a relative before they grab them and eat them. Some have been know to make a sound or sounds, like groans or even words, but this is very rare and likely due to pockets of air in the lungs or body passages that pass through the vocal cords, kind of by accident. Generally, they don't make sounds. It wouldn't behoove them to make sounds while they amble up behind an unsuspecting living person and bite them.

Zombies don't really intend to travel in groups, but do seem that way when a bunch of the dead heads have spotted a target. Further, they don't consume flesh to enhance their energy supply in any great way since they don't have a working digestive system.

Zombies are more active at night when it's cooler and decomposition slows down. They are in a continuel state of decompostion and will rot enough in 2-3 years so as to not be a threat to most of the living. In the colder north, the decompostion stops with the cold weather, but when the dead defrost they beomce dangerous again and continue to rot.

We all know they need a head shot to be stopped ('killed?). It has to be through the brain. Otherwise, the dead will continue to be a threat.

I'll stop here, except that I've heard that zombies are able to 'survive' under water for some time (although much more limited than above water). They are susceptible to preadotrs. Dogs are spooked by them, but wolves and other predators find them delicious and easy prey.

Pulseless Pandemic (The Zombie Outbreak) Now Available on Barnes & Noble

I've priced it at $2.99, exactly the same as the other four. It just showed up today, first the title and price, next the image of the book cover. I'm still waiting for the description which I'm sure is on the way. So that makes the book available on all the largest sales channels.

My Comment re RB's Early Review of Flatline Virus on Amazon (Mar 2011)

If you happen to read this review, be sure to give this book a fighting chance and check out the current 4-star ratings by 24 reviewers in the Apple Bookstore. RB is correct on one point. The author isn't the famous science fiction author William Gibson, but the science is right on, at least for a zombie book. It's well researched, science-wise. I'm sorry to disappoint the reviewer by not being the 'real' William Gibson, but as I recall, the 'real' one doesn't sell books for $2.99 or write zombie stories. - The author, William D. Gibson.

Book Sales by Sales Channel - 2011 and 2012

This is approximate. The reason is that Amazon reports immediately. I have to wait for the distributor totals. Thus, this will overstate the Amazon percentages a bit. That said, here they are. They include all sales of 2011 and thus far into 2012:

Apple  -   44% (still the best sales channel for me)
Amazon  -  34% (second as always and somewhat overstated)
Barnes & Noble - 19% (third as usual)
Other - 3% (starting to increase a little)

Other includes Smashwords, Kobo,
Sony and some others.

Pulseless Pandemic (Book 4) is now available in the Apple Bookstore

All four of my books are now available on the Apple iBookstore. Apple is my largest selling channel. Pulseless Pandemic is a Zombie story.   I have not seen the book in Barnes & Noble yet. Apple has been a great selling channel. My first book, Flatline Virus, has 27 reviews with an average rating of 4 out of 5.

The four books now available are:
1) Flatline Virus - When Zombies Evolves
2) Homo Optimus: Humans, Aliens & Superbrains
3) Alien Contact: Titan
4) Pulseless Pandemic: The Zombie Outbreak